Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
