idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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