The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize