I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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