Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
