I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
