I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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