420 ftw
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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