Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
