He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize