Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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