just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
