just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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