My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
