just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize