Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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