If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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