Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I will be naked everywhere
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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