batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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