Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize