found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
