What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
