you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
