you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
