Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
