dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
