it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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