I'm drive I can fine osifer
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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