Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
