East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I looked at my own cervix.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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