My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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