oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
