Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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