I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
