Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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