woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
