your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
