so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
