Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
