final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
