Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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