yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
a search helicopter?!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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