I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
