no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
