Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
