Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm just crazy horny about you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Randomize
