Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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