That's intense
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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