can u get pink eye on your cock?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have tasted many bathrooms
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
