we're chasing vodka with high fives
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
