so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How does one acquire holy water?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Enjoy the penises
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
