i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
