I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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