I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize