You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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