"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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