Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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