ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
