dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
