Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
