i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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