we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
