all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize